Well, due to events both at work and at home, this has been a week from hell.
The week started out with me making a mistake. Not life-threatening, but serious enough that I am now even more careful in certain situations.
The next day I almost ran out of the OR crying due to the belittling behavior of the surgeon. He was on a rampage, I was not the only person he lectured. I have never been so humiliated, nor have I ever cried in the OR. Tuesday I did. Not only was this surgeon a jerk, but he was also grabbing instruments from my hand, including scalpels. I felt rather endangered by his behavior. On the way out at the end of the day he "jokingly" said that "the rats were abandoning ship...I only partially mean that." Somehow that last comment really didn't help!
Wednesday it was the home life that just about killed me. Nothing to do with the family, that's all fine. It's the IRS. One, they lied to me about not auditing me, two they are taxing me at a higher rate than they should just because my son worked for 2 months in 2009...oh, yeah, they are also penalizing me and charging interest starting from 2009. I can't afford a lawyer, I already paid $400 to consult a lawyer to begin with on this whole issue.
Thursday in class was OK, except I feel this one nurse really must hate me. Anytime I say something in class she has to tear me down. It was also a long day since I stayed and put in a few hours training at the Writing Center .
Friday I was so tired and felt so beaten up I had no motivation to really shine on my last day of scrubbing. I tried. I did scrub in to give a lunch and breaks. I observed and tried the circulator to help in a big sports medicine case. I did set up several cases. I just could not muster the energy or enthusiasm to scrub in on any other cases.
Saturday was OK, except I was late to my Writing Center training. I stayed late, but feel that I benefited from watching one tutor respond to an online submission and spent the rest of the time reading material. After that I spent a great deal of time organizing rather than reading material for classes or my residency program.
Sunday I wrote 3 papers, read several articles, but I still have a great deal of reading to do. I have been tired, unmotivated and rather listless. I have to muster the energy to call the tax lawyer and ask if there is any hope of fighting the IRS, and most important, ask for a referral to a good tax service: I will never prepare my own taxes myself, even through a software program. I am so tired of the IRS picking on me when I have no resources to fight back. I will pay for the service, I will pay for audit insurance and I will pay extra in taxes from each pay check from now until I die to avoid the IRS ever having a chance of auditing me again!
Next week I am in class 4 days, circulating or preparing to circulate on Wednesday only. It has to be a better week. Right? I really need a better week. Really.
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